How To Know You're Getting Old

As if using wrinkle prevention moisturizer wasn't enough I now get friends' (by "friends," I mean people I am acquainted with whom are roughly the same age I am who I share no business relationship) phone numbers on professional business cards rather than on torn pieces of paper. Instead of seven digits scribbled with a broken pencil, I have a person's fax number, home number, business number, emergency number, and email address(es). I'm sorry. But this is happening way too fast. I'm not ready to send you faxes. But rest assured, I will contact your brother's ex-girlfriend's cousin's twice removed uncle's best friend's daughter's mother in case of an emergency.