Delirious

YOUNGBLOOD FOR SHERIFF.

After driving five hours to get back to LA in my Kia with no air-conditioning and traffic (aka Hell), I saw this sign in the middle of nowhere. Suddenly the wind hitting my face like a heater, the sweat dripping from every pore of my body, the Spanish only radio stations and the dead bodies of gnats glued onto my windshield didn't seem so bad. I laughed and laughed. And when I told others what the sign said they didn't laugh. And now I feel bad for laughing. So donate now.

I Was Free

Friday I finished my last final and while studying for all my finals I thought of all the things I would do once I didn't have finals. I had visions of greatness for the two days I had before I started law clerking full time...visions of reading long novels, learning French, sleeping 16 hours a day, buying chocolates, even cleaning my room. But these dreams haven't manifested into reality. I did however manage to read one book, eat french fries, sleep 5 hours a night, get sun burnt, climb a fence, and smile so much that my laugh lines hurt. Now once again I am a slave as my weekend of carelessness has vanished and I must drive to work everyday like a responsible law clerk and take law school summer classes. The shackles have returned.

It's The Beginning of 1984

"Where is all this pathos about protecting human rights and democracy when it comes to the need to pursue their own interests?"

Vladimir Putin, Russian President, talking about the US.

Showing You The Money

This is an actual check for real money. My money. Money from my summer law clerking job. Oh, praise God! I was so happy to see it. $54.93. Big bucks. That's like two venti caramel frappucinos with an extra shot of espresso or one gallon of gas. And this is not law school loan money which means I won't have to pay this back until the day I die. Even though I have my Business Associations final tomorrow, I am happy. I showed you the money.

I Really Do Have Friends

I went to the pool last night to do some lap swimming. There were three girls in the spa. Thinking nothing of it, I got in the spa to relax for a while.
The girls leave to go to the restroom and on their way back I can hear them talking..."is she all alone? She's not here with her friends? That's so sad..." and then I realize they're talking about me.
And then they ask me, "Are you friends with them (motioning to the people in the pool)?" And I say, "No. I am here alone."And they say, "Oh."
What I wanted to say is, "I have friends! I promise! I am not a pathetic loser who always goes to the spa alone on a Friday night! Some people like me! I just wanted to relax by myself for a while....by choice. Look, I am not a social outcast. I am not socially inept. I have a blog...wait. never mind that last sentence...I mean, I might have a blog and I might be by myself, but I look better in a bathing suit then you do..."

Light at the End of the Tunnel

SBA SOUTHWESTERN END OF THE YEAR PARTY!

WHERE: Jimmy's Lounge, FORMERLY known as EL Centro 6202 Santa Monica Blvd (1 block East of Vine)

WHEN: MAY 19th, FRIDAY...DOORS OPEN @ 9pm-2am

WHY: This party is in honor of all law students finishing their 05-06' year. But ANYONE is invited. No guest lists. Congratulations to the graduating students!

Cover will be 10 bucks BUTTTTTT there will an OPEN BAR TILL.......10pm so free drinks for all of those people who want to let go after finals.

New Residence: Starbucks

They have electrical outlets, free samples, tables, and caffeine (usually). Finals Heaven.

I Want This

* No. I'm joking. Please don't buy me this for Christmas, my birthday, Valentine's Day, Easter, Chinese New Years, Labor Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, President's Day or any other day. However, I will accept large sums of money or diamonds.

Call NOW!

In a span of an hour, I witnessed more than 7 commercials about "calling now," "meeting great new people," "women that want to talk," "hot conversations," "text message FINE right now," during one hour of Dr. 90210.

And then I realized that I was sitting at home on my sofa by myself on a Friday night at 10pm eating an orange. AHHH! I'm the target audience!!!!!!

My favorite part of the commercials is after the attractive women who are wearing basically nothing make sensual glances at the TV while they pretend they're on the phone talking. And then my next favorite part is some really attractive man who is usually sitting on a motorcycle or doing something else that's really manly says he's calling now and it's his favorite thing to do.

These attractive people are so attractive that they sit home just like me in lingerie or on motorcycles to have quality conversations with others.

I'm blaming finals for my TV watching. I mean, usually on a Friday night I'm sleeping...I mean, I'm out partying.

In Honor of Finals

Instead of turning to cocaine, heroin, or other illegal substances, I maintain my sanity by baking cookies. Zero addiction and lots of fat. It's a finals tradition.